what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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