Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
