dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
