remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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