nut hugger
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
