i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
