Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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