is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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