you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
