guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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