Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
