i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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