FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
