I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
