the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize