we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
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dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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