She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
