marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
