did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize