i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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