I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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