Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
