Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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