Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize