i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
