? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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