We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
