From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
