like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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