Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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