Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she peed on how many people?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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