i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you would pick up someone in the library
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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