white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
