If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
