Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
