So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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