I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
