She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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