do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
