i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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