I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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