Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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