its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
