Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
