He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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