Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
