i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
