I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
