This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
