So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
