I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My balls are so social today.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
party gras won. party gras always wins.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
