i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
