so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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