Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
