i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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